Rafa’s Story 

The morning of June 26th I took a nice walk out on the shore in the Aquatic Park, walking back and forth with my legs in the water, cursing at myself for not having worn my bathing suit under my sweatpants. I am not a person who does well with the heat; later on that day we were visiting friends out in the East Bay, where the weather was above 90 degrees. We spent all day hanging out in their backyard, swaying to some cool music, eating and drinking, and enjoying, without knowing, these were the last few hours of my sweet pregnancy. At the moment, I did have a feeling that this heat may cause some movement, triggering birth in a few hours. 

My pregnancy went pretty smoothly, in large part thanks to Michelle and Orna, my angel sisters, who took care of me and made me feel comfortable in every phase of the experience and informed me in an incredible way about pregnancy and birth, that by the time I went into it, I felt very confident about what was going to happen. (However, I still hear Michelle saying, “Every birth is wildly different from each other.”) I think the second thing I am grateful about is I kept up with my everyday 5-6 miles walk regime and 10-15 minutes of stretching every morning, keeping myself busy professionally and socially, cooking for everyone I know. 

Anyhow, after the hot day in the East Bay, we had a make-shift dinner at a friend’s bar; sardines, anchovies, avocados, tomatoes and lots of garlic, all my favorite things in the world, next to a glass of natural wine. Then we spent 45 minutes trying to decide whether it makes financially more sense to grab a car back to the city or the transbay bus. 

We got home around 11 and by 11.30pm we were deep asleep. Come 12.30am, I woke up with a warm contraction; this one felt quite different than the old-man contractions that I had been feeling the last 6 weeks. I wake Josh up after I timed 5-6 of them, they seemed pretty consistent and already about 4-5 minutes away from each other, each one lasting about 1 minute long. We waited another hour and realized that this little man might really be coming on his due date! We decided it made sense to call Michelle. At this point I was already starting to moan quietly. We closed the bathroom door so that we will not wake up the whole building (we live in a studio). Michelle had just left another birth she was assisting and was up all night (superpowers), she listened to me going through a couple of contractions over the phone and told me calmly and with an air of excitement “yes, this is labor, you are in labor.” I felt relieved that this is it, because I can’t imagine what else it could be! She said that she will stop by her apartment, which is luckily 5 blocks away from mine (nothing like the most incredible midwife in the world also happens to live in your neighborhood! lucky me!), and then come over. Between the time we talked to her and the team arriving, we prepped the apartment and the bed between my contractions and were in some ways, in a festive mood. By 1.30am we had a full house, Michelle Welborn, Orna (my sister from another life) in training with Michelle Welborn at the time and Michelle Gundersohn, my doula (aka. Sicilian super woman). All these women were here to help me through the motions! Josh (Rafa’s baba) in all this time was very calm and helpful, and I felt like we went through birth together through my body for the next 12 hours. He did not get a second off through the whole birth because I wanted him right next to me, holding me and kissing me and telling me encouraging words. But in general, I felt like “Just leave us alone, me and my baby, we got this! But please don’t be too far either!” I had little home baked empanadas next to me throughout birth that really helped, and a glass of water I was sipping at through a straw (very important!) 

The contractions started getting really strong, really fast. Michelle and Orna were checking Rafa’s heartbeat throughout birth and I felt that that gave me a lot of positive energy. In between every contraction I was getting a 2-3 minute break, during which time I would put my head on a pillow, fall into deep sleep, and dream wild dreams, like unicorns and rainbows! I was trying to visualize going through waves, which was giving me good vibes. Michelle (doula) was helping me through each contraction, holding me in different positions, and swaying me around to help Rafa descend through the pelvis into the vagina. At some point Michelle (Welborn) checked my cervix and announced that there was almost none left. I was very surprised and realized that the time was coming for me to start pushing. Sue Baelen (assist midwife) arrived shortly after. So, in the studio there were 4 women helping me out next to Josh. Amazing energy, and wisdom to see me through!

The feeling of pushing, which I had been extremely curious about throughout the pregnancy, finally was there. It was one of the strongest sensations I have ever felt in my life. My legs were trembling trying to resist it at first. Then I remembered that I had to just open up and give in to the pain. All in all, the pushing lasted 4 hours. One of the reasons it took so long was that Rafa’s hands were crossed right next to his cheeks. We did not realize that until after he started crowning. But as I did not have any other birth to compare things to, pushing for four hours felt completely like a normal scenario. While I was pushing, reaching down to feel Rafa’s head gave me hope that things were proceeding the right direction. During all this time my water had not broken yet. I remember trying a lot of different positions for pushing but at the end ending up on my back in the bed. At some point I had my leg on Michelle’s (doula) shoulder for at least 45-60 minutes straight (poor woman!) and my bag looking like it was about to explode directly on to her face, ay ay ay! The things these women would go through to help you are just amazing! The bag did explode at the end before Rafa came out, and no one was in the way :) It was a pretty satisfying feeling, physically and emotionally. So, I pushed and pushed with every contraction until his head finally popped out, one of the most incredible moments of my life. Josh, me and all the women around us were euphoric. Michelle was helping my skin around the vagina not to tear up too much by applying compresses and rubbing olive oil and herbs and really coaching me through the pushing to cause least damage as possible. A couple more pushes and a Californian, Mediterranean boy was out in no time covered in olive oil, very appropriate. Michelle caught Rafa and put him on my belly. Josh was in tears and rubbing the vernix and the blood of off him, while covering me in kisses. I could not believe that he was out. What a moment to be cherished in life! We stayed like that for a few more hours, while I gave birth to the placenta, the second most beautiful thing I gave birth to so far:) In between the midwife team tended to my bleeding. We paid a quick visit to the hospital after birth because the bleeding would not stop completely, which of course finally did by the time the ambulance arrived with Rafa still lying on my chest, but we still went anyways. We were back home in a couple of hours with our little man, who was very calm throughout the whole back and forth from the hospital.

In the next couple weeks Michelle and Orna came to check on us multiple times and answered all our silly parenting questions. I will never forget the moment when I got a very small breast infection, and they were each rubbing a breast to make sure they got all the infection out. These women! I do not know what I would do without them. 

Overall, this was one of the most amazing experiences in life. I would not want to have done it in any other way, and as I tell Michelle each time I see her, I just want to keep on having babies so that I can be around these incredible women and their vibrant energy. I am in awe of what they do, their wisdom and generosity. Looking forward to the next time:) 

Ps. I think if I had to write a few things that helped me throughout birth for the mamas who are going to be giving birth soon: Trust your senses, your body is magical, and it really does know what to do deep down. The pain from the contractions is not damaging to your body, it is there to help you get your baby out in the most natural way. And think about all the women who are going through birth at that moment that you are, and all the women that have given birth in history, including the ones in your lineage, and try to channel that energy. You are strong, and wise. 

Also use your placenta!!! it is incredible for you. If you are not sure about eating or drinking it, have it dried and encapsulated by a professional, throw it in your freezer. You might need it on a rainy day. Mine definitely helped my bleeding recede much faster postpartum and was better than any drug one can take to recover your energy after the adrenaline from birth finally winds down. 

Lastly, postpartum care; have a plan! Very important that you take care of yourself. It is very hard to imagine doing anything but taking care of your little treasure once he/she is born. That is why it is important to have a plan before you give birth. 

Enjoy the ride!